I’m not always sure…

Like it states in the title “i’m not always sure…” about a lot when it comes to my disabled son Grayson, but i take each day as it comes.

I think I find it the hardest when he is ill. They say that as his parent no one knows him better than you which i think 95% of the time is true.

It is difficult caring for him and with him not being able to tell you in anyway how he is feeling or what he wants other than in the way he has learnt to can be gut wrenching at times.

So when he is ill his disability’s seem so much worse, other than cleaning his nose and dosing him up on everything you can  i just have to sit there and suffer so to speak.

Watching him struggling to breathe and swallow through his mouth because his nose is so blocked, barely eating at the best of times as it is so when ill next to nothing on the food front.

But even after all this suffering he goes through on a fairly regular basis, he still manages to make me smile even when inside his own head he’s probably screaming “daddy help me”

And all I can do is carry on what I am doing I guess.

I love you son xxx